Remote Controlled Pets

From Lessons Learned Series

1996 – ish

My son Ryan and I ran to the grocery store leaving Trex, then a 3 month old spazzy puppy confined to the kitchen. It was going to be a short trip – she should be fine.

As for the two cats, they were always fine – sort of, but that’s another story.

We did our shopping and took bets as to whether or not Trex would still be confined to the kitchen when we returned. She was proving to be one of the greatest escape artist canines our family had ever encountered – and she was just at the beginning of it all.

We pulled into the parking lot of the huge apartment complex of which we lived in up on the plateau in Issaquah. As we got out of the car we could hear loud music. Not rock and roll type, but more like from a TV show or something. We each loaded up our arms as full as possible and then the familiar tune came to me. Carol Burnett! It was the theme song to the Carol Burnett Show.

“Man”, I exclaimed, “someone really likes the Carol Burnett Show, or they’re deaf!”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.

“Because that music – it’s from the Carol Burnett Show. It’s really screaming!” I answered.

As we got closer to the front of our apartment building the music got louder. Gee, it was coming from someone in our building. It was kind of like the thumping in Tell Tale Heart. We lived on the third floor and as we climbed each flight of stairs the music got louder and louder. Thump thump.

We reached our door and my heart started racing as I was filled with a dreadful feeling. The sound was coming from behind our door. “What the …..?”

Ryan and I exchanged puzzled looks and both muttered “Trex!”

She had escaped indeed and as if that wasn’t bad enough, the TV was on and going full blast!! Yep, it was the Carol Burnett Show alright. All the pets were out of sight, hiding from the noise no doubt. And there in the middle of the living room floor was the remote, little teeth marks all over it.

Trex and the cats were both hiding under my bed. She came scampering out as soon as I turned the TV off. The cats however could not be coaxed out till a few hours had passed poor things.

The lesson didn’t end there for me. I figured that putting the remote control out of Trex’s reach was the answer. It wasn’t.

A few weeks later I was witness to a levitating cat. My female cat was the most inquisitive of the pair. I was always rescuing her. This time she jumped on the end table where I had safely stowed the remote control out of Trex’s reach. When she landed, she hit the ON/OFF button and the volume simultaneously.

In a nanosecond she blasted straight up in the air about three feet and lurched forward, a black streak heading for the safety of the under-bed. She was like a cartoon kitty. It was an amazing sight. I would have given anything to get that on film.

Lesson learned – always stow the remote control with the buttons facing downward. I still do this out of habit, even though I no longer have my kitties. They trained me well.