Snake Man; From the 'What was that all about' series:

It was my birthday. My boyfriend - Rich and I had just finished having sushi and decided to head to the nearest pub for a birthday toast. We stepped out into the early evening air. It was late September and a slight chill was setting in. Leaves were just starting to turn and the Lake City street had an appealing charm with the old fashioned street lights, numerous trees and warm lights shining out from the quaint shops and restaurants.

We saw a young woman sitting on top of a bicycle stand. She was very thin with short brown hair. Her clothes were worn out, kind of hippy style. She was wearing a tank top despite the temperature. Oddly enough, she appeared to be very comfortable perched there among the parked bicycles, smoking her cigarette just watching the cars drive by. We decided to ask her for directions to a pub.

When she drew in a breath to answer it sent her into a fit of coughing. “Well…” She couldn’t finish because spasms of coughing overcame her. I was a little shocked because her voice sounded like a much older person than she appeared to be. She pointed a bony finger to somewhere across the street. For a moment I felt bad for having inadvertently causing her distress. She spat the contents of her lung onto the sidewalk. I quickly got over my feelings of guilt.

I couldn’t keep myself from commenting about the hazards of smoking but she didn’t acknowledge me. We thanked her and headed to the crosswalk so we could cross the busy street, her hacking became fainter with each step.

We hadn’t even gone a half of a block when we began hearing a man yelling, “Hey do you want $20,000?” He was behind us, about where the coughing woman sat. At first we ignored him, but he kept saying the same thing over and over. Unable to ignore him any longer, we turned.

He was a Native American man with flowing black hair, two children in tow. He had a ghetto blaster in one arm and a twelve pack of beer in the other - Rolling Rock. One child had a gallon of chocolate milk and the other had a yardstick. All in all it was an interesting sight.

“Are you talking to us?” I asked.

He was excited and out of breath. “Yes, I just won Lotto and want to give some of it away. Do you want $20,000?” His children were equally as excited and held out their treasures for me to see. A yardstick, really? I thought that he must have made a stop by the ‘dollar store’ or something.

Rich and I exchanged glances, trying not to laugh at him. “No man, we don’t want your money.” Rich said putting his hands up for emphasis.

The man looked offended. “You don’t believe me, do you?” He looked from Rich to me. “Look, I just bought this jacket!” It was a rather expensive looking leather jacket. I shrugged, not knowing what to say.
The taller child tugged on the man’s sleeve. “Show them your snake dad!”

Rich and I looked at each other with wide eyes. “A snake?” I asked.

“Yeah, look. It’s in my pocket.” He put down the ghetto blaster and beer. I stepped back a bit, becoming a little creeped out by of this strange guy.

He opened his jacket and sure enough, there was a large moving bulge in his side pocket. “I just bought this snake!” Reaching into his pocket and producing a cream colored snake, about three feet long. He offered it to me to hold. I’ve never had a fear of snakes so I accepted. It was beautiful and cold to the touch. It began coiling itself around my arm. I asked Rich if he wanted to pet it. He shook his head, looking at me like I was crazy.

Just then one of the kids yelled out, “Dad, there’s our bus, we better go!” The kids ran towards the bus stop. “Come on dad, we’re going to miss the bus!”

To my surprise the man picked up his ghetto blaster and beer and ran after them. He called back over his shoulder to us, “We have to make this bus!” I looked from the snake wrapped around my arm, to Rich, to the running man and then back to the snake again. I began to run after the man. He totally forgot his snake.

“Wait! You forgot your snake!” I called after him. I stopped running when I saw that he had turned and was running back towards me. When he reached me, he tucked the beer under his arm and grabbed the snake. He started running again to the bus – but the snake was still around my arm. I had to run along with him so he wouldn’t harm the poor thing. It was stretched to capacity but holding firmly. Finally it lost its grip and the man ran into the dark to catch the bus. All I could see was his silhouette and that of the snake swinging around wildly.

Rich caught up with me and we watched the three, small now in the distance, get onto the bus. The bus went a few feet and then the flashers went on and we could see the three small figures getting off of the bus. We burst into hysterical laughter and then ran across the street when we realized that that crazy man and his circus might try to find us.

Once across the street and safely out of sight we couldn’t help but wonder ‘What was that all about?’